Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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