I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
