Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
