I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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