My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
