Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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