He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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