your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
