HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i now understand why vodka
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
