too bad you live with your parents still
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
