You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
