OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
