No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
