okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
