Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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