playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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