covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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