Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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