Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
