"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
