I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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