I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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