I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
