Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
