Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just invented taco cereal.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize