whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
