Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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