You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
