take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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