Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Damn victory sex feels great
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
