Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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