I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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