I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
