dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
