We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am naked and annoyed.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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