Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
