You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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