But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
