hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize