loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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