My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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