i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
