you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
