You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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