why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
