what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
