I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
