An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
false alarm. still invincible.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
