Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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