Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
