He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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