you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
