Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
