Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
