my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
