This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize