what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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