dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I need water and some morals
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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